Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Let's agree to disagree ...

I knew it was coming, I even probably knew we had arrived but I was just in serious denial. The era of "NO" has come to Stroller Ave. I feel like I live with a tiny defense attorney living in our house.

This one:

is driving me crazy by saying the exact opposite of what she knows is the right answer. Example? Why, of course...

Bea: What is that Mommy?
Me: It's Cooper's bed.
Bea: No it's not.
Me: Ok, what is it?
Bea: It's Cooper's bed.
Me: Oh, I hadn't noticed.

Or how about:
Me: Bea it's bathtime. Let's go!
Bea: No it's not.
Me: Um, yes it is.
Bea: No. I don't want to.
Me: Well, tough cookies. You smell like a homeless man.
Bea: Yea, I'm stinky Mommy. I need a bath.
Me: I know this. So get in the tub!
Bea: Nope. I need to see my Daddy and read some stories.

I call this argument, "The Food Critic"...
Me: It's lunchtime!
Bea: I don't want peaches for lunch.
Me: Ok, how about kiwi.
Bea: No.
Me: Banana?
Bea: No
Me: Apple slices?
Bea: I want peaches.
Me: *Banging head on counter* Why didn't I think of that?

And there's, "Color Blind":
Bea: I want some water, please.
Me: Ok *retrieves stack of colored cups from the cabinet*
Bea: No, I want water in the blue cup.
Me: The blue cup is dirty, choose another color.
Bea: I want blue.
Me: Blue's not an option. How about pink?
Bea: No, blue.
Me: Green?
Bea: No, blue.
Me: Honey, the blue cup is dirty. How about the yellow cup?
Bea: I want the pink cup.
Me: *Counting minutes until naptime* Good thing I offered that first, huh?

Or my personal favorite- The Time Waster (her specialty in public restrooms or stores with a toy bin)...
Me: Come on, kiddo, it's time to go.
Bea: I need to go potty.
Me: Ok, let's find a toilet.
Bea (while sitting on the potty): I need to go poo poo.
Me: Do it then!
Bea (2 seconds later): I'm done.
Me: Ok, let's wipe and get down.
Bea: No, I don't want to get down. I need to poo poo.
Me: Ok, then poop.
Bea (.003 second later): All done.
Me: Please poop or get down. We need to go.
Bea: But I wanna sit on the toilet. I need to poop.
Bea (.000001 second later): I'm all done now, Mommy. We better go home and see Daddy.
Me: *Gouges eye balls out* How thoughtful of us!

Now of course, I realize that this is all a natural part of growing up in the life of a toddler. Learning boundaries and exploring limits set by mean ol' parents is just par for the course. But that doesn't mean it makes our days go by any faster right now! I'm just telling myself that it's just another Season of Life. No it isn't. Wait. Yes, it is.


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