Friday, September 30, 2011

Friday Confessionals: Big Mama


And, we're back! I got my act together enough this week to post the Friday Confessionals and my confessional this Friday... it's a big one. Literally. And it's a little vain.

Ya'll, since becoming a mother; I have never had lower self-esteem about my looks. That's because I have never looked the way I do now. I seriously think I have some serious self-image issues; and thus, the reason I am the photographer and very often not the subject of a photo. That's because when a regular, well-adjusted person see this image:

I see this:

Being a mother has made it really, really hard to find time for myself. And, what little time I do get; I spent it sleeping or thinking about sleeping or worrying about Bea.

That's a large (emphasis on large) part of the reason that I weigh the most I have ever weighed in my entire life (aside from being pregnant).  On top of that, (obviously) very few of my pre-pregnancy clothes fit. Yes, I was in pretty good shape (Remember the Tri or Machupicchu?) and had just come off a 30 pound loss at Weight Watchers! But still. It's incredibly depressing to only stare at my "good clothes" instead of wearing them.

But! All of that is going to change. At least, I hope so. I'm so tired of feeling horrible about myself. Plus, what kind of example am I setting for my daughter? I want her to grow up feeling confident about herself; and that's not going to happen with a mother who mopes about in a bathrobe and a Moo-Moo all day (I'm only half-joking about the moo-moo).

So, this past Monday I re-joined Weight Watchers; and so far (granted it's only been 4 days) it's going really well. I've been sticking to my Points and I haven't felt starved or deprived of anything. And, I've already been making smarter snack choices when I do feel hungry.

And, we joined the gym. I realize joining is only half the battle; so Casey and I agreed on a workout schedule that gives us both equal time to exercise and get back in shape. Plus, I'm thinking of joining back with my ol' Faithfuls at Stroller Strides for their upcoming 5K training program. I once ran a triathlon... I want to at least be able to run a 5K again.

So there it is: I'm a Big Mama. But that's only temporary.

What's your confessional this week?  Now it's your turn to come clean with just one measly way that your life is perfectly imperfect...

There are only two rules to this link-up:
1) Please don't go confessing to anything majorly serious (like, oh, I don't know; a felony)
2) Be sure to link back to our blog and include the handy-dandy blog button at the top of the page (Just highlight the code, press Ctl+C, and copy into you "Edit HTML" tab)

**If you don't have a blog, but still want to participate, leave your confession in the Comments section below! And, even if you're not a mom or a homemaker, I'm sure there are still a few ways which your life isn't always hot dates and fancy dinners, right? Oh, please tell me that's the truth!



  1. It's amazing that [we] women are so hard on ourselves. At times, I speak so poorly to myself. Why is that? My body has been nothing but good to me. For example...I fed, nurtured, and developed a baby for nine months in this body. My body powered through and delivered a beautiful baby girl completely natural! I have done incredible work-outs, played sports, completed school...all with this body. When I start to think negatively about myself, I try to think about the countless gifts my body has given me. Now that I have a daughter, I have a constant reminder of how miraculous the human body is. I want her to grow up feeling confident in herself and beautiful in her skin.

    I read a quote recently and I'm not sure who said it...definitely wasn't me: "You were born an original, don't become a copy." This quote is going to be a constant in our house as we raise our daughter. Hopefully, we can give our daughter the ammunition to be strong against societies "expectations" and be a healthy, secure woman.

    As for me...well, it's a constant work-in-progress. I have already been influenced by numerous visuals of the "ideal woman." I try (emphasis on try) to talk nicer to myself and remind myself that there is no one else like me in this world. Some days I fail miserably, other days I come out just slightly on top.

  2. Way to go joining back to the Gym and weight watchers. I find myself doing the same thing you do to photos. We as women can't help it! I am truly inspired by your dedication to get back in shape. I am off to go look at local WW meetings and times now! Thanks.