Tuesday, August 30, 2011

EOTTS: A condition that effects the entire family ...

Are your blissful family times often interrupted by fits of screaming and erratic behavior?  Are common household items used as projectile weapons on a frequent basis?  Do your family meals sometimes end with more food on the floor than was eaten?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, your toddler may be suffering from Early-Onset Terribly Two Syndrome (EOTTS).
This is the face of EOTTS. And it's not pretty.
Symptoms of EOTTS include:
  • Crankiness for no reason
  • Refusal to take a nap; regardless of outward signs of weariness
  • Random tantrums often resulting in kicking and screaming; which usually occur on the floor
  • Requests for banana/apple/yogurt/eggs/food item 
  • Refusal to eat the aforementioned items.
  • Refusal to eat anything other than Veggie Straws, animal crackers or small pieces of trash off the floor
  • Refusal to wear a diaper
  • Refusal to remove diaper
  • Refusal to wear clothing
  • Refusal to change out of clothing that has been smeared with blueberries and ketchup
  • Erratic behavior in the car, often mimicking the emotions of a drunk college girl 
  • Tantrums for unclear and unreasonable reasons (including: Mommy won't let me eat her keys and Mommy doesn't let me walk down stairs)
  • Screaming for no reason, often in very public venues, followed by periods extreme cuteness
  • Staring at inappropriate times at nearby restaurant patrons
  • Desire to put unsafe items in their mouth (including: wrenches, tape measures, bike helmets, etc.)
While there is no known cure for EOTTS, some research shows that  parents find relief from these symptoms by employing a very common tool: Time with grandparents. Note that simply saying "Oh, they'll grow out of it" has not been shown to decrease the stress to parents with a toddler suffering from EOTTS. In fact, it probably makes it worse.

If your child is suffering from EOTTS, know that you are not alone. We, the Collins Family, are knee-deep in the Syndrome with no foreseeable end in sight.

Somebody hold me ...


  1. Our ped. said that he believes that girls enter the terrible twos earlier than boys. I believe this to be a fact since we've been dealing with this for about 6 mos! What I really don't get is the "applesause!!!....no want a applesauce," conversation. and then she eats it. *sigh*

  2. Um, hi. My name is Katie. Have you been spying on my family? Because reading your list above was just plain creepy. (right down to the comment about eating the keys and walking down the stairs)

    My son turns two on 10/23 and he has suddenly transformed into an alien child. Everything is "no." Even "yes" is "no...yes!" He is my most defiant toddler so far! I'm glad I'm not the only one who was shocked when this came about before his 2nd birthday.

    I just want my son back. Is that so wrong...???