If you answered yes to any of these questions, your toddler may be suffering from Early-Onset Terribly Two Syndrome (EOTTS).
|This is the face of EOTTS. And it's not pretty.|
- Crankiness for no reason
- Refusal to take a nap; regardless of outward signs of weariness
- Random tantrums often resulting in kicking and screaming; which usually occur on the floor
- Requests for banana/apple/yogurt/eggs/food item
- Refusal to eat the aforementioned items.
- Refusal to eat anything other than Veggie Straws, animal crackers or small pieces of trash off the floor
- Refusal to wear a diaper
- Refusal to remove diaper
- Refusal to wear clothing
- Refusal to change out of clothing that has been smeared with blueberries and ketchup
- Erratic behavior in the car, often mimicking the emotions of a drunk college girl
- Tantrums for unclear and unreasonable reasons (including: Mommy won't let me eat her keys and Mommy doesn't let me walk down stairs)
- Screaming for no reason, often in very public venues, followed by periods extreme cuteness
- Staring at inappropriate times at nearby restaurant patrons
- Desire to put unsafe items in their mouth (including: wrenches, tape measures, bike helmets, etc.)
If your child is suffering from EOTTS, know that you are not alone. We, the Collins Family, are knee-deep in the Syndrome with no foreseeable end in sight.
Somebody hold me ...