Thursday, June 30, 2011

Pizza Hut: You are on notice...

My Dad:

He's a cool guy. No, scratch that. He's way more awesome than cool. I mean, what other human on the planet, besides Tuck Everlasting, doesn't age for 27 nearly 28 years. Don't believe me? Here's photographic proof:
Daddy and me, shortly after my glorious birth in 1983
Daddy and Beatrice Kate, June 2010
Freaky, huh?

In the years since Casey and I have been married, my relationship with my father has grown and deepened. I could do an entire post or two about my Daddy and his quirky-ness. We get each other and as a result, he's become one of my closest friends. And I stick up for my close friends. Especially when they're snubbed by a big corporation.

Case in point: Pizza Hut.

Last night as I was driving home from a Mom's Night In with my Stroller Strides Mamas, I noticed a missed call from my Dad. When I returned his call, expecting him to be tired and ready for bed, this is what happened:

*Ring Ring*
Dad: Dammit. Hello?
Ashley: Uh, Daddy? Is everything ok?
Dad: Oh, hey. I thought you were Pizza Hut. I'm in a war with them right now you know.
Ashley: *Silently giggling at how ridiculous that sounded* Uh..... care to explain?
Dad: Do you know how long I've been waiting on my pizza?
Ashley: No. I have no idea. Maybe like 45 minutes (That seemed like a reasonable guess, right?)
Dad: 2 HOURS
Ashley: I hope you called and cancelled it
Dad: You bet I did. And I gave them a good cussing too (Note: I'm leaving out the slew of obscenities hurled at Pizza Hut at this moment; to keep the blog PG-13). Now, I'm hungry and I'm tired and I'm all wired up because of this.

Ahh, my father. Apparently, the world's calmest, chillest man can become unhinged when he doesn't get his pizza on time. Long story short: Pizza Hut says that they tried to deliver the pizza and no one answered the door; and thus had they had to remake his pizza, causing delays.

Turns out, no one actually came to his door. We know this because 1) His house isn't that big and he would have heard someone at the front door and 2) He has the unfortunate combination of two impossibly annoying loud chihuahuas and slick wood floors; which create a deafening raucous at the drop of a pin. The doorbell going off would have received the same canine announcement as a murderous thief.

When he called to say, "Hey, where's my pizza", he got a helping of Smarmy Attitude along with their excuses; and they refused to deliver his pizza again.  And, they refused to compensate him for it. Truthfully, I think that's what really set him over the edge. Pizza that's two hours late and no attempt to make it right?!? Come on, Pizza Hut. You really should know better.

I've been known to fire off a letter or two to businesses who show poor displays of customer service. My father, on the other hand, let's it roll off his back. Not this time. I bet his blood pressure was sky high over the Pepperoni Throwdown.

And because of all of this, Pizza Hut, I join my father in solidarity against your establishment. Nobody puts baby Daddy in the corner. You are on notice; no matter how delicious your stuffed crust pizza commercials may be.

Oh, and if I have to hear this replayed 4,000 times from Daddy this weekend ... then I'll make sure every one of my friends never eats there again either. Got it, punks?

*Was that intimidating enough, Daddy???!??



  1. A pizza place that didn't make it right?! Pizza places are supposed to bend over backwards and ply you with free pizza if they do anything wrong. This is unheard of! Bad Pizza Hut! Which one was it? Are pizza huts franchises? Maybe it's just a bad egg that needs to be tossed out!

  2. That's what I said! Pizza Hut is a franchise and I'm sure that this small-town location was not their Flagship store for customer service to begin with.

  3. Letters to corporate are required then. :) Even if they're not worried about their boss, you can be sure their boss is worried about their BOSS! (I just woke up. I hope I have the appropriate about of theirs in there.)